image credit: in picture, but I got this from SpinDoctors.com
We had dinner last night at Casa del Noped with Jigga, J-No, and the ever-cute baby Katherine. Somehow during dinner the Spin Doctors came up briefly, and I talked about how much I listened to their Pocket Full of Kryptonite album right around the time I was graduating from high school in 1993.
This morning J-No sent us this email after getting in to work.
As I was flipping XM channels on the way to work, I heard:
“if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now.
and if you, want to talk for hours, just go ahead now.” etc etc etc
What does the line at the end mean- where is says- Oh, your majesty…..forget the king and marry me…….. Who is he talking about?
After reading Jennifer’s email I realized that there are probably many of you out there who are not aware of the deep, multi-layered complexities of the Spin Doctors’ work. I sent J-No the following thoughtful, insightful, utterly deep, and - some might say - brilliant reply. After reading it, I knew I must share it with you, the gentle blizzog reader whose thirst for Spin Doctors wisdom and insight will never be fully quenched.
Man, do I love the Spin Doctors. The song you are referring to is called “Two Princes“, and was the Spin Doctors first big hit. With a light, upbeat, whimsical set of lyrics, the song depicts the classic love triangle between two men of very different means and a hottie.
The song’s title refers to the two princes that the hottie can choose between. The lyrics are sung from the perspective of the poor guy in this triangle, and he explains the difference between himself and the other “prince”. Lines like “One has diamonds in his pockets / This one, said he wants to buy you lockets” depict the great disparity in buying power between the two men.
The line you are referring to, “forget the king and marry me,” is the singer’s plea to the hottie (the princess) to ignore what her father (the king) would want her to do (marry the rich prince) and marry the poor prince instead.
The song never says if they ended up getting together, but I’m guessing they did. Why? The Spin Doctors’ next big hit was “Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong”, whose spiteful lyrics about a significant other who is always right shows that the group grasped the true meaning of marriage.
Deep stuff. Rich. And Compelling. The Spin Doctors, baby. Soak it in.
I need to give up this computer stuff and become a full-time pop culture maven. You’re welcome.
The average size of the British bust has grown for a 34B to a 36C in the last 10 years, though experts can’t exactly agree as to why.
In totally unrelated news, I have developed an affinity for fish ‘n’ chips, bad dental hygiene, and Manchester United football, and see myself moving to London in the near future.
Larry is the night security guard at the office building of one of my clients. He’s a really nice guy and always up for a good sports chat or at the ready with a funny story.
Today on my way out the door Larry was just settling in to the front desk, checking his logs. Because he didn’t see me, I called out, “What’s the word?”
Without missing a beat, Larry replied, “Thunderbird.”
Dick Clark shouldn’t do any more New Year’s Rockin’ Eves.
You know you are thinking it too.
I’m right, aren’t I? Don’t get me wrong, I feel awful for the guy, and I’m glad for him that he’s still able to do something he clearly loves.
But just because he can do it, does it mean that we have to like it? It bums me out. And let’s face it, that’s really the last emotion you want to feel when you’re getting ready to ring in the New Year. You’re all like, “Wow, this year is going to be great. I’m going to fulfill all my hopes and dreams,” and you’re feeling pretty upbeat - and maybe a little buzzed - and then they flash poor Dick up on the screen to slur down the final seconds of the old year….
… and then it’s the New Year but you’re too busy thinking about Dick and how hard it must’ve been for him to teach himself to speak again and how energetic he used to be and sound, and how now he just seems old and sad. Courageous, yes, and perhaps inspiring, but more old and sad. And then you’re not thinking about all your hopes and dreams for the New Year. You’re thinking, “Shit, I hope I don’t have a stroke.” And what fun is that?
I think someone in the organization needs to sit Dick down and say, “Remember when Michael Jordan came back and played for the Wizards? And it was kinda cool to see him, but he really wasn’t the same Michael, and ultimately it was a big bummer….” Or they should say, “Remember the last season of ‘Growing Pains’, when Mike Seaver was a teacher and it was just kinda weird and awkward and not really very good?” Or they should say, “Remember Caddyshack II, or Teen Wolf Too or Staying Alive? Do you see where this is going?”
Alas, I’m guessing that my plea will fall on deaf ears. After all, I think Dick Clark owns 86% of Hollywood, so it’s likely that he’s going to go when he’s damn good and ready.
He’s definitely earned the right, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. In fact, I’ve decided what I’m going to do about it. And no, smarty pants, it’s not going to be “change the channel” or “watch something else, asshole.” You think I’m seriously going to watch Carson Daly? There’s not enough booze on the planet for that to happen.
No, what I’m going to do is just start pretending that Dick is really Joe Namath.
I think it’s a win-win for me and Dick. Dick can still keep ringing in the New Year. I can still keep watching, pretending that it’s Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber at midnight instead of Dick Clark and Doris Day, and everybody gets to have a truly happy New Year. And that’s what it’s all about, right?
Happy New Year, everyone! I hope that you all had a healthy and happy holiday season.
I had a happy holiday. Healthy is another matter. I’m so bloated from two weeks of just plain eating and drinking poorly (photo above) I don’t think I need to worry about any Clay Aiken mistaken identity fiascoes for a good while. Mickey Rourke, maybe. But Clay Aiken, not so much. If I keep it up, I’m going to end up on this page.
Speaking of bloated and mistaken identities, some 10-year old girl thinks I’m Jamie Lynn Spears. Peep the last comment on my 2003 blizzog recap post.
Man, that blizzog 2k3 post was pretty good. I remember when the blizzog used to be good. 2003 was like the Golden Age of Blizzoging I think, like Season 1 of “The OC” good. This is normally the part where I’d write that I know I haven’t posted in a long time and I’m going to do a better job in the new year and blah blah blah, but that would be like the addict saying that he’s really going to stop drinking this time, or Eugene Levy promising he won’t be in yet another shitty American Pie sequel. You and I both know that we can only believe it when we see it.
That said, I do appreciate those of you who have told me - or told me through someone else - over the past few months how much you miss the blizzog. I miss it too. Hopefully I can make more time this year to at least bring back some of that special magic. Not “The OC” Season 1 magic, but maybe at least that Season 4 It-Got-Really-Good-Again- But-Nobody-Was-Watching-And-It-Was-Too-Late magic. We’ll see…
