If all this wasn’t bad enough, Bob Barker signed off for the final time last week from The Price is Right. Though Bob said it was the right time for him to retire, we’re not so sure that he’s ready to give up the spotlight just yet. With all this in mind, AG and I have an idea about how to do CBS a huge solid and save The CBS Evening News. Ready for this?
Bob Barker and Katie Couric should switch places.
Just like Meredith Viera has done for the syndicated Who Want’s To Be a Millionaire, Katie’s infectious sparkle and enthusiasm would be a great way to carry on the tradition at The Price is Right. We’ll get to see more of that personality that made her famous, a personality that has been all but washed away by the Serious Katie persona she dons each night for the news.
And Bob? Well it’s clear that the CBS news has two big problems: 1.) It’s boring, and 2.) People can’t get used to a woman reading the news for whatever reason. So what better person to replace Katie than someone who is a.) not a chick, and b.) the most beloved figure in TV history?
Bob could reverse that snoozer of a newscast by giving it a little game show magic. CBS could weave the day’s stories into a news-oriented version of The Price is Right. How do you decide which of the top stories gets read first? I think a little game of Plinko would be a fair way to do it. Or what about a segment to determine what the average price of a gallon of gas is in the country today? Perhaps a little Dice Game could help derive the answer. Contestants could bid on the current day’s cost of the Iraq war. As always, the person who was closest to the actual retail price without going over would win.
AG and I think this is the best option CBS has right now, and we can’t wait for them to implement our grand idea by hiring us as programming king and queen. Just imagine how much happier the news will be once Bob is hosting it. Bob will close the telecast with, “That’s all the news for tonight. Don’t forget to help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.” while The Price is Right theme song plays in the background.  And then the announcer says…
“The CBS Evening News, with Bob Barker. A Mark Goodsen television production.”
NBC did a “Saturday Night Live in the 90’s” show a month or so ago, and we’re just now getting around to watching it. We’ve only watched the first half, and so far I’m left with two impressions, both surprising. One, even though most of what I remember from the 90s is everyone saying SNL wasn’t as good as it used to be, that’s totally not true. Two - and this is the real surprise to me - I miss the 90s.
We’ll deal with the first impression, uh, first. SNL was a freaking powerhouse through parts - though not all - of the 90s. Think about these names: Rock, Sandler, Farley, Spade, Hartman, Ferrell, Meyers, Carvey. Unreal. Most of these folks went on to unbelievable box office success. Many of them where all on the same cast at the same time. This special opened up with some guy saying that SNL in the early 90s was kinda like the Yankees of the late 90s. You really can’t argue with that. In many seasons, it was just a murderers’ row of comics. I’m not even including people like Norm MacDonald, Colin Quinn, and Rob Schneider, and Molly Shannon. Say what you will, but these people all really added something to the show and gave it some of its most memorable characters.
As surprised as I was to remember how good those SNL casts were, I was even more surprised to realize how seeing this special made me nostalgic - for the first time - for the 90s. SNL is such a reflection of the culture, and seeing all the skits about cultural events and people in addition to plain silly skits, not to mention the musical acts - from the first Gulf War to the Dave Matthews Band to the Church Lady to O.J. to Blues Traveler to Wayne’s World to Bill Clinton to Opera Man - made me stop and think about that whole era and how lucky I was to be the age I was (15-25) during that decade.
The 90s in many ways were a time of blissful ignorance for both me and the country at large. After the short-lived first Gulf War at the start of the decade, the U.S. enjoyed an unprecedented period of peace and prosperity. We weren’t worried about terrorists or taking off our shoes to get on airplanes or bird flu or any of the crazy shit that everyone obsesses about now. It was all grunge music and Michael Jordan, and the Internet and eventually dot-com madness.
I’m not going to try to argue that the 90s were some kind of cultural high point or the best times of our lives or whatever. All I’ll say is that they sure were fun for me, and whether it’s a Chris Farley “Van Down by The River” SNL skit or a cheezy Gin Blossoms song playing on the radio, I’ll be thankful for the memories of what truly were simpler times.
Big ups to my man Jeff Turner, of JT.net fame, as the company he built last year, Blogbeat, has been indirectly sold to Google. Blogbeat (and Jeff) were acquired by Feedburner last year, and now Feedburner has been acquired by Google, making Jeff an official Googler.
Blogbeat (currently Feedburner Site Stats) is a great web analytics tool created specifically for tracking blog traffic. It’s a very cool piece of software.
Congrats, JT. You deserve it. And congratulations to Google. They’re getting a real asset in Jeff.
