Musical Things I Miss From the 80s

JT.net has introduced me to a new bad-ass Shoutcast channel that plays sweet 80s music.  I would send you the link, but the site opened up two wicked pop-ups on me that evaded FireFox so I’ll spare you.  In any event, suffice it to say that this channel rocks.  They play some really great stuff.

Listening over the past week has made me realize that there are some musical things from the 80s that you just don’t find today, and I miss them dearly.  For example…..

The Saxophone Solo

Since I’m a sax player myself, I’m somewhat biased, but you just don’t hear good sax in pop songs like you used to.  Songs like “I’ve Had The Time of My Life” from “Dirty Dancing” or any Huey Lewis song were not afraid to drop a sax solo towards the end of the song.  And do I even need to mention Clarence Clemons?  Nuff said.  Moving on…

Songs About Armageddon

Sure, the threat of nuclear holocaust sucks major ass, but it made for some great 80s music.  Where would we be without Europe’s “The Final Countdown”?  I know that my marching band would’ve been up shit creek come pep band season, that’s for sure.  Or how about “99 Red Balloons”?  Some kids go to the store and buy some balloons, release them into the sky, and set off World War 3.  Depressing?  Sure.  But catchy?  Hell yeah.  I’m pretty sure that I don’t need to mention Weird Al’s “Christmas at Ground Zero”, but I will.  Great song.

Mutually assured destruction was everyone’s nightmare in the 80s, and it made for some great music.  How come there aren’t any catchy songs about terrorism today?  When is Bono going to come down off his high horse and pen a peppy U2 song about dirty bombs?  Will Beyonce’s next song be about biological agents being released in a shopping mall?  I think not.

Nonsensical Songs

The 80s had a ton of songs about things that didn’t make any sense: “Walk the Dinosaur”, “Whip It”, “Weird Science”, “Turning Japanese”, “She Bop“, “Everbody Wang Chung Tonight”.  Okay, so “Turning Japanese” and “She Bop“ were about something pretty important, but I digress.  How come nobody makes stuff like this anymore?  All the songs today are about something.  Whether it’s love, or not being in love, or losing love, or bitches, or ho’s, songs today are about things people can somewhat identify with.  Who has ever walked the dinosaur?  Where are the songs asking us to Wang Chung tonight? 

Damn I miss you, 80s.

TV Theme Songs With Words

Show me someone who grew up in the 80s that can’t recite at least some of the lyrics to the following TV shows and I’ll show you someone that grew up Amish in the 80s:  “Facts of Life”, “Silver Spoons”, “Cheers”, “Greatest American Hero”, “Charles In Charge”, “Diff’rent Strokes”, “Family Ties”, “Gimme a Break”, “The Golden Girls”, “Who’s the Boss?”…….(pant, pant)…… Need I go on?

What the hell has happened to the TV Theme Song?  I can’t name one show on the air right now that has a theme song with lyrics.  Not one.  And I think that sucks ass.  Now, to be fair, I’m too busy watching things on Tivo these days to mess around with the theme songs, but I’d probably listen every now and then if there were some catchy words. 

AG and I have been watching “The Apprentice” for the first time this season.  We watched our first non-Tivo’d episode the other night, and AG was like, “I didn’t know that was their theme song.  That’s pretty cool.”  It’s the O’Jays “For The Love Of Money” in case you were curious.  That’s how bad things are.  This might count as the only show we watch right now that has words in the theme song.  And that’s because the theme song is an existing song that already had words in it.

How come a show like “LOST” can’t get a catchy theme song with some words?  At least I’d have something to remember when it’s not on for weeks at a time.  Look, I just made up some lyrics right now they could use.

“The New LOST Theme Song”
(to the tune of “The Greatest American Hero”)

“My plane crashed in the seeeeeeee-eaaaaaa
I can’t believe it myself.
Stuck in this place, with a big fat dude
And some guy that looks like an elllffffffffffff.

Believe it or not, I’m being chased by polar bears
Even though it’s 90 degreeeeeeeeeee-eesssssss
Livin’ on fish, no clean underwear
Ohhhhhhh, woe is meeeeeeeee
At least I have, this hotttieeeeeeeeeeeee.”

Okay, not great, but it’s better than nothing.  The point is that the 80s gave us a great musical legacy, and we’re not capitalizing on it at all these days.  And that sucks.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go do my part and Wang Chung tonight.  Twice, if I’m lucky. 

“LOST” Lost?

Does anyone remember a show that used to be on ABC called “LOST”?  It was about these people that survived a plane crash and were stranded on this weird island.  It had that dude from “Party of Five” in it and one of the Hobbits, but that’s about all I remember.  I think that I really liked it, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen a new episode I’m not really sure anymore.

Podcasting - What He Said

I’ve been meaning to post a take about how overblown I think podcasting is and how it will never catch on, but Darren Barefoot has done the dirty work for me.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

The blizzog would like to congratulate John Ratzenberger on his ascension to the papacy yesterday.  We’re not sure what playing Cliff Claven on “Cheers” has to do with Catholocism, but we wish you all the best.

The New Pope was the main theological advisor to Pope John Paul II (Pope Classic), and has a conservative view on matters of church doctrine.  He is expected to hold a hard line on controversial issues such as women in the priesthood, gay marriage, and stem cell research.  This is great news unless you happen to be a woman, gay, suffering from a debilitating disease, or some combination of the three.  Good luck with that.

We at the blizzog were somewhat puzzled by the Pope’s choice of Benedict XVI as his new name.  Besides not being very original (Hello? You’re the 16th guy to choose that name.), we felt there was a name better suited for the man filling the shoes of his legendary boss after 20+ years at his side.  Pope Gutheridge II, anyone?

Drinking is big sux. Rulez is smoking!

Drinking is big sux. Rulez is smoking!

Originally uploaded by blizzog.

My mom found this in the restroom of a Mexican restaurant in Troy, OH this weekend.

And who says smokers aren’t concerned about our health?

DJ Format - 3 Feet Deep

Thanks to the good folks over at Joystiq I have found my “New Favorite Rap Song of All Time Of The Moment”…or something.  The song is called “3 Feet Deep” and it’s by a British dude named DJ Format.  The concept for the video is awesome, and the rapping - by MCs Abdominal and D-Sisive - is tight as well. 

JT.net thinks if I had weighed 25 pounds more 10 years ago that I would look like D-Sisive.  Check out the video and let me know what you think.

I need to start a rap group…..

The Surreal Life

Damn.  Long time, no blizz.  So in case you haven’t heard my alma mater won the 2005 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament last week.  I was fortunate enough to be in Chapel Hill last Monday as everything was happening.  Let me tell you, it didn’t suck.

Even now, a week later, I’m still somewhat numb to the whole thing.  No team that I have ever pulled for so strongly has ever won anything, so I’m not quite sure what to do with myself.  I’ve been a Carolina fan since I was in the 8th grade, so I was obviously excited when they won it in 1993.  But I was a senior in high school then.  I’d been accepted at Carolina, but hadn’t started going there yet.  I was happy for them, but they still didn’t feel like “my” team.

This time it was different.  The mood was electric at the sports bar where we watched the game.  I got there at 4:15 or so to save seats for the good folks that would be watching the game with me later in the evening.  I spent most of those first few hours drinking and chatting it up with the folks around me.  Everyone was there for the same reason, and you could just kinda feel that special something in the air.

By the time the game started, the place was packed.  During the next couple hours we were all on a roller coaster of emotions as the game ebbed and flowed.  And then, the payoff.

The time between when the final buzzer sounded and the next morning are somewhat of a blur.  Before you make your jokes, the blur was caused much more by the numbness I was describing than the drinking I had been doing for the previous 7 hours.  The place erupted when we won.  People were hugging each other: friends hugged friends, strangers hugged other strangers, friends hugged again.  I’m pretty sure I was standing on a chair at some point in time and the manager yelled at me to get down.

Franklin Street was everything that you have heard and then some.  It was a sea of people.  It was bizarre.  It was jubilant.  But it was never out of control.  The paper said that 45,000 people crammed their way into the street that night, but it didn’t seem like that many when we where there.  There was much more hugging and high-fiving.  We ran into a lot of old friends.

Though everyone was clearly happy on Franklin Street, it was not a “let’s burn this place down” happy like you might have expected.  In retrospect, I think everyone was feeling a lot like me: stunned.  I was somewhat stunned that we had won it all, and now I didn’t really know what to do with myself.  I suspect many of my fellow revelers felt the same way.

So now it’s all over, and I’m still somewhat stunned.  There were other times in the past 13 years where we’ve had teams capable of winning it all, but we just never quite got there.  I had doubts in the pit of my stomach since the tournament started that this wouldn’t be our year either, but happily I was wrong. 

Congratulations to Coach Williams and this year’s squad.  You had a spelndid season and did us all proud.