So I’m in a bowling league this summer.
I’ll wait here while you take that in…
Let’s get a couple details straight here to set up the story. It’s a handicap league, which essentially means that less talented bowlers get pins added to their final score so they can compete with better bowlers. I am not a bad bowler when compared to most of the general population. I bowl about a 130 average.
My 130 makes me the worst bowler in my entire 12 team league. No kidding. The second worst average is the other guy on my team, who bowls about 145. The third worst is around 175 and most everyone else is in the 190-230 range. I did this on a lark because one of my business buddies - who is probably the best bowler in the league - asked me to be on his team. I thought it would be fun, which it has been.
Next week is the final week of the season, and we are currently in first place by 11 points, mostly because of our monster handicap. Our team gets 123 pins added ot our final score each game - 63 of those are mine. 
As you might imagine, there are people in this league that take this WAY to seriously. The fact that our team essentially is the worst in the league yet about to walk away with first place - and about $400 apiece for doing so - is not making us very popular right now. The other not-so-great guy on my team actually was accused tonight of sandbagging earlier in the season and then bowling better towards the end of the league. Doesn’t it stand to reason that if you bowl once a week for 13 week that you’ll probably get better?
So if you don’t hear from me after next Thursday night, it’s quite possible that I’ve been Munson’ed. I just want this on record in case anything happens to me. You heard it here first.
Our excitement for our new home was tempered early this week when we discovered that our shower experience sucked. NBA “defenses” give better pressure than our new shower heads. Sad times.
It turns out that there is a federal regulation on new construction that says you must put restrictor plates in the shower heads to reduce the water flow. I finally figured this out after 3 days of suffering. I unscrewed the shower head, popped out this little plastic fitting, and then put the shower head back on.
Now we have enough water pressure in the shower to turn back any disorderly rioters that may show up in the bathroom. Good times.
Don’t ever say that I didn’t do anything for you. Thanks for reading.
As you just heard, the blizzog has been away for a few days while we took care of some family bid’ness. There are many things that have transpired in the interim that deserve comment.
But it’s almost 2 AM and I’m wicked tired, so you’ll just have to settle for this sophomore year band picture I found of me while I was unpacking.
In case you’re wondering, the hat says “Sax Education” and, yes, that is a baby mullet that I’m sporting. In Ohio, we sometimes refer to it as “The G-ball Curl.”
Yeah, baby.
The blizzog has been silent for the last few days because AG and I have been moving into our new digs. We spent the past weekend packing up and moving the remainder of our small gear. Then the big dawg movers came Monday and carted all of our heavy stuff over.
It is now 1:33 AM on Wednesday and the BOC (Blizzog Operations Center - aka my office) has just now become operational. My first official computing task in my new house is this post. Werd.
Update on 7/25 at 9:32 AM: I found the obituary for Eve’s mom online in Myrtle Beach. It should have all the information that you need to send condolences or attend the service.
Just after posting my Bad Boys review I got an e-mail from my boy Keith that our friend Eve’s mother has passed away suddenly. Many of you who read the Blizzog know Eve from our days at Carolina. I know that she must be in great pain right now and in need of your prayers.
There will apparently be a memorial service at 2 PM in Myrtle Beach on Saturday, but that’s all I know at this point. As soon as I get any other information I will post it.
I’m so sorry, Eve. We are all pulling for you and your family at this difficult time.
The power went out at the place I was working today around 12:30. We waited around for an hour and they finally told us to get lost. I had plenty of packing and other stuff I could be doing - we’re moving next Monday - but I decided to treat myself to a movie instead. The Blizzog took in the 2:15 showing of Bad Boys II at The Grande here in Greensboro and we thought we’d let you know what we thought about it.
I read the reviews. CNN hated it, but then again they hate everything. The Miami Herald thinks it is quite possibly the worst movie of the year.
What does the Blizzog think? If you’re willing to check your brain at the door this might be the best action movie ever made. Read on.
Is this movie violent? Hell yes it is. It’s probably one of the most graphic mainstream movies I’ve seen in some times. Lots of slow-mo shots of people getting shot in the head, being blown to pieces, etc. This movie basically has no respect for humanity whatsoever. If you can deal with that, then keep reading.
Is the plot any good? Hell no it’s not. As the Miami Herald reviewer says, it’s your typical “cop v. bad drug kingpin” formula. Some bad-ass Ecstasy dealer is smuggling X into Miami $150 million worth at a time, but the Miami PD can’t touch him. Every time they try to arrest him he sues them and wins. Mike Lowery (pronounced Ma-hike Lawh-ray for those who don’t know our boy, Lee Lawh-ray, and played by Will Smith) and Marcus Whatisface (Martin Lawrence) are back again as the partners on the Miami PDs TNT (Tactical Narcotics Unit) squad.
Mike is still the brash, living-on-the-edge, trust fund baby and Marcus is still the neurotic family man. The love interest this time is played by the hot and talented Gabrielle Union as Marcus’ sister Sidney. Sidney works for the DEA out of NYC and is hot on the trail of Captain Ecstasy in Miami. Marcus is in therapy and is ready to ditch Mike as his partner because he can’t take the stress of the job anymore.
That’s about as much plot as you get. The movie basically goes like this. Funny whup-ass scene. Cut to drug kingpin being bad ass. Cut to Marcus at home with family and sister and Mike. Cut to drug kingpin being bad ass. Car chase. Mike and Marcus fight but it’s funny. Car chase. Stuff blows up. Cut to drug kingpin being bad ass. Car chase. Stuff blows up. Cut to drug kingpin being bad ass. More funny fighting. The chief yells at Mike and Marcus for making his life difficult because internal affairs is up his ass. Cut to drug kingpin being bad ass. Car chase. Stuff blows up. Sidney is captured by drug king pin. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
So we’ve already established that this move is ultra-violent and the plot is only so-so. Is it funny? In parts, yes. The hands-down funniest part of the movie is when Marcus and Mike shake down the poor 15 year-old kid who comes to take Marcus’ daughter on her first date. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are more like real people here being their funny selves instead of the cartoons they portray in the rest of the movie.
I’m not sure what it is, but I really can’t get used to Will Smith saying “n*gger” and calling people “motherfucker” like he does all over the place in this movie. It just doesn’t jive with my “Indepenence Day / Parents Just Don’t Understand” image I have of Will. Ma-hike Lawh-ray is a bit more asshole than he is lovable in this movie and I don’t know if I love it.
Alright. To re-cap, this movie is violent, the plot is whatever, and it’s kinda funny. How’s the soundtrack? It is great. The music completely keeps this 2-hour 26 minute thriller moving. When you’re not hearing the tracks from the P. Diddy produced soundtrack you are hearing original cuts from the one and only Dr. Dre. (An aside here: Not that anyone needs to be told this, but Dr. Dre will end up being the Quincy Jones of our time. The man is a producing wizard.)
It’s time for my final verdict here, and this is where it gets interesting. I will fully admit to anyone that this movie’s plot is sub-par and that it is only funny at certain times. Having said that, if you are looking for a pure blow-shit-up-and-throw-in-some-whup-azz-and-screw-you-if-you-don’t-like-it thrill ride, then this movie is it. In terms of pure action and whupass - plot excluded - this is probably one of the best action movies ever made. No kidding.
If you’re looking for clever and action-packed, rent The Bourne Identity or Mission Impossible. If you’re looking for mindless and rock you off your ass, go see Bad Boys II.
The 2004 Summer Olympics will be held in Athens, Greece next year, and that can only mean one thing: We’re going to need more whores.
I have joined with my blog homey Jeff Turner of JeffTurner.net in protest over the lack of feedback capabilities over at MarkTurner.net. The readers of Mark’s wonderful blog deserve the right to put their pithy comments and smart remarks in response to his daily musings. I think we can all agree that without the witty banter between UNC Fan, State Fan, pirates, and 80s pop icons, the Blizzog would not be the melting pot of ideas that it is today.
So join me in this struggle to convince Mark that blogs just need to be free!
