Jenny From The Block

When people ask me, “Jamie, why do you hate J-Lo so much?” it’s hard to think of which reason to put forth first.

A Sad Day In The Neighborhood

Everyone needs to pour out a little milk for our fallen homey this morning.

A Shout-Out to Moo U

In honor of tonight’s basketball contest between my beloved Tar Heels and the evil NC State Wolfpack, I thought I’d trot out the good old band geek version of the NC State fight songs. Warning: not for the faint of heart.

Oh, I’m from N.C. State and I’m really really slack;
I applied to Carolina but they sent my papers back.
This cow shit really gets to me,
I wish I was at UNC,
But they don’t offer sodomy. State sucks!

And my personal favorite…

Plow your field, sow your seed, give your sheep the dirty deed,
As the tractors go rolling along.
Agriculture is your life, and your sister is your wife,
As the tractors go rolling along.
Oh you go to State, take your cousins out on dates
That’s why everybody says — State Sucks!
So plant your seed, give your sheep the dirty deed,
As the tractors go rolling along.

Nothing like the old sexual misdeeds with livestock jokes to get the rivalry going, eh?

Good luck tonight, Heels. Don’t roll over like you did this weekend. :@

Give Peace a Chance

I would just like to go on record as saying that war with Iraq should be avoided under any circumstance. I just don’t think I am willing to live with the consequences.

NNNNNNNNNoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh, nevermind.

The next time I try to throw Ohio (my home state) out there as a model of progressive thinking, somebody be sure to remind me of this. Props to JeffTurner.net for turning me on to this.

The Man held her down

Apparently Sheryl Crow was asked not to voice her anti-war opinion at last night’s Grammy Awards. Good.

I really have no problem with anybody expressing a political viewpoint, so long as it is done in an appropriate time. I can’t stand self-absorbed celebrities that feel like award ceremonies are an appropriate time to let everyone know exactly what their opinion is on the issue du jour.

Just sing your song, tell your joke, say your line, and get off my television. Your job is to entertain me and not to tell me what you think about anything unless it is through your art.

Are we all in agreeance on this, Fred? Jackass.

I want my mommy

My friend Jeff Day from back home just sent me some pictures - #1, #2, and #3 - of Top Thrill Dragster, the 16th and newest roller coaster at Cedar Point, Ohio’s best amusement park. Yikes!

When completed, TTD will be world tallest, fastest roller coaster and will also mark the fourth time Cedar Point has produced a coaster to hold this distinction. Yet another great Ohio achievement.

The Blizzog @ The Grammys

Some random musings from tonight’s telecast…

Great performance by Simon and Garfunkel to open the show. Good times. I think we all owe a big thanks to whoever at Denny’s traded shifts with Art so he could be here tonight.

I think they just make up a Sting album every year so they can nominate him for something. They should just cut to the chase and create the Best Sting Album This Year award.

Faith Hill looks like she broke into Mariah’s house and stole one of her cocktail dresses, then decided to also wear Mariah’s curtains on the way out. Her rendition of Cry a Little sounds like crap. I’m crying a lot right now. Get off the stage.

By 8:37 PM, CBS had already shown 34 commercials for My Big Fat Greek Nielsen Trainwreck.

Geo-political analyst Fred Durst offered this gem on current global issues: “I hope we are all in agreeance that this war should go away as soon as possible.” Hmm. I hope we’re all in “agreeance” that Fred should stop making up words and shut the hell up.

It’s a little-known fact that my buddy Jeff Turner (of the inferior but ever-so-plucky JeffTurner.net ) is really Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl. So anyway Jeff’s band wins an award tonight for Best Whatever. Jeff/Dave is done making his speech and the band is walking away from the mic. Then Random Black Guy steps up and says, “Rock would be nothing without B.B. King.” Uh. Word up. Since when is there a black guy in the Foo Fighters?

I never have and never will get the whole Bruce Springsteen phenomenon.

Memo to Robin Williams: You are not amusing. Please shut up.

I’ve never seen Eryka Badu without her hair wrap thing until tonight and DAMN! You ever notice how you never see her and Lenny Kravitz in the same place?

I’m pretty sure that Aretha Franklin is going to change a pumpkin into a carriage before the night is over. Nice outfit.

I guess that thing on Nelly’s face finally cleared up.

Odd couple of the night: Vince Vaughn and Royal Blakeman, attorney for the academy for apparently the last 1,000 years. Vince announced the award and then told Royal, “Nice job, pal” like they’ve been best friends since the Eisenhower administration. Somehow I don’t see Royal and Double Down Trent kicking it with all the pretty babies after the show.

I like shy, reserved Alicia Keys much better than loudmouth look-at-me Alicia Keys.

When the Cyndi Lauper comeback gets rolling, I’m there.

The AXA Life Insurance commercial of the two old people sitting in the tacky motel room ogling each other while the “magic fingers” bed vibrator runs is hands-down the most disturbing thirty seconds of televesion I’ve ever seen.

Norah Jones deserves everything she got tonight. I love her.

Unbelievable

This is a sad day. Well, I guess technically a few days ago was a sad day, but whatever. The point is, what kind of world do we live in where two people who seem to have everything going for them can’t make it work? Is true love dead?

Blast!

Ashley and I just got back from seeing Blast! It’s hard to explain, but it was amazing. Basically, it was a Broadyway-style show with really awesome marching band and color guard kids on steroids set to house music. I would highly recommend this to my band dork homies out there. A must see. I hands down saw the best trumpet performance of my entire life tonight. Very cool.