I got home from work today and AG informed me that we were having an impromptu Date Night. Good times. This is the first night all week that I have felt even halfway normal after this fun night and three subsequent days of feeling like crap after picking up some bug in Blowing Rock over the weekend.
After dinner we went to go see Tropic Thunder. I’ve been wanting to see this since it came out last week; partly because of the controversy it is brewing up but mostly because I wanted to see Robert Downey Jr’s performance.
Tropic Thunder didn’t disappoint. It wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, but it was super funny in parts and didn’t really drag. That’s all you can ask for. I’d give it a solid 3 stars out of 4.
If you’ve followed Ben Stiller’s career from it’s earlier days - like the short-lived, but awesome “The Ben Stiller Show” - you know that he’s capable of doing some great parody, and all those skills were on full display in this film. Stiller and fellow writers Justin Theroux and Ethan Cohen do a fabulous job of mocking all the typical Hollywood steroptypes: endless sequels, stupid fart-joke movies, and yes, actors who take on roles as mentally challenged people in hopes of winning awards.
I didn’t see what all the controversy was about with Stiller’s “Simple Jack” character, honestly. If I were the type that gets offended, I think I’d have been much more offended by a character like “Have you seen my baseball?” Warren from There’s Something About Mary… if it wasn’t so hilarious.
Robert Downey Jr. is fabulous as the 5-time Oscar Award winning Australian actor who had his skin pigmented so he could play a black guy in the film. I’ve heard Stiller say a few times that in order to pull this character off without coming across as a cheap stereotype you needed someone with RDJ’s acting chops.
After seeing the film I couldn’t agree more. His character is hilarious, but not in a clownish, cheap way. Downey plays it right up to the edge in a pitch-perfect performance, and Brandon T. Jackson provides the proper balance to the absurdities of Downey’s character as rapper-turned-actor-turned-mogul Alpa Chino.
I can’t finish my review without giving my grudging respect to Tom Cruise’s cameo as a power-mad movie producer. He’s pretty funny in this, though it would’ve been funnier if he could get over the whole “I’m Tom Cruise Playing Some Other Guy” thing he does in pretty much every movie. That said, the role is pretty out of the box for him and you gotta give him credit for going for it. It makes you forget the Creepy Scientology Guy Tom Cruise for a few moments, and that’s a good thing. I’m still not taking this down.
Overall Tropic Thunder is some good times. You should check it out. Especially if you can go on Date Night.
Dick Clark shouldn’t do any more New Year’s Rockin’ Eves.
You know you are thinking it too.
I’m right, aren’t I? Don’t get me wrong, I feel awful for the guy, and I’m glad for him that he’s still able to do something he clearly loves.
But just because he can do it, does it mean that we have to like it? It bums me out. And let’s face it, that’s really the last emotion you want to feel when you’re getting ready to ring in the New Year. You’re all like, “Wow, this year is going to be great. I’m going to fulfill all my hopes and dreams,” and you’re feeling pretty upbeat - and maybe a little buzzed - and then they flash poor Dick up on the screen to slur down the final seconds of the old year….
… and then it’s the New Year but you’re too busy thinking about Dick and how hard it must’ve been for him to teach himself to speak again and how energetic he used to be and sound, and how now he just seems old and sad. Courageous, yes, and perhaps inspiring, but more old and sad. And then you’re not thinking about all your hopes and dreams for the New Year. You’re thinking, “Shit, I hope I don’t have a stroke.” And what fun is that?
I think someone in the organization needs to sit Dick down and say, “Remember when Michael Jordan came back and played for the Wizards? And it was kinda cool to see him, but he really wasn’t the same Michael, and ultimately it was a big bummer….” Or they should say, “Remember the last season of ‘Growing Pains’, when Mike Seaver was a teacher and it was just kinda weird and awkward and not really very good?” Or they should say, “Remember Caddyshack II, or Teen Wolf Too or Staying Alive? Do you see where this is going?”
Alas, I’m guessing that my plea will fall on deaf ears. After all, I think Dick Clark owns 86% of Hollywood, so it’s likely that he’s going to go when he’s damn good and ready.
He’s definitely earned the right, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. In fact, I’ve decided what I’m going to do about it. And no, smarty pants, it’s not going to be “change the channel” or “watch something else, asshole.” You think I’m seriously going to watch Carson Daly? There’s not enough booze on the planet for that to happen.
No, what I’m going to do is just start pretending that Dick is really Joe Namath.
I think it’s a win-win for me and Dick. Dick can still keep ringing in the New Year. I can still keep watching, pretending that it’s Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber at midnight instead of Dick Clark and Doris Day, and everybody gets to have a truly happy New Year. And that’s what it’s all about, right?
They are both going to rack up a ton of technicals this year. The NCAA is making bench decorum a point of emphasis for 2007-08 and warns coaches to expect a whistle without warning for a variety of unsportsmanlike actions, including cursing or venturing onto the court.
While driving home from the gym this morning, I passed a deer on the very edge of the road. Now deer aren’t terribly uncommon around here, but when you do see them, they are usually running away from. Not this one. She was just chilling by the side of the road, half-heartedly grazing, but mostly just watching the traffic go by like it was her job. She seemed to look right at me as I drove by, bobbing her head ever so slightly upward as if to say, “Sup, playa?”.
The whole scene was strange, but I blew it off. She was probably sick, or injured, or got into some bad meth or something, right? Who knows? I was ready to forget the whole thing when I came upon a rabbit along the side of the road. He was doing the same thing: just sitting there, watching the cars go by. The rabbit wasn’t playing it as cool as the deer was. He had a shifty look in his eyes, like he was up to no good. You know how rabbits are.
I thought it was odd to see two different animals doing pretty much the same thing within a mile of each other, but I still didn’t think much of it until I saw the ground hog. Standing by the road. Watching the cars go by. Now this is definitely nothing new in our neck of the woods. There are tons of ground hogs around here that like to hang out by the road. And where a deer or rabbit might usually run away, with a ground hog it’s 50/50. Sometimes they’ll run, but sometimes they’ll just take a step forward and flex on you, like, “What? What you lookin’ at, bitch? I’ll kick your punk ass if you don’t keep driving that car and get the hell up out of here.” You know how ground hogs can be.
So at this point my rationalization engines are in full gear. I have a meth-addled deer, most likely a scared rabbit, and a ground hog just doing his thing. All standing by the road. All watching the cars go by. All things that I could easily explain away… at least until I saw the duck.
The duck was standing no more than 10 feet from the ground hog. Standing by the road. Watching the cars go by. To my knowledge, ground hogs and ducks are not historically homies. Ground hogs like to sit by the road and chew on rocks and flex on cars as they roll by. Ducks like to swim around and dress up like sailors and speak with a lisp and have best friends that are giant talking mice. You know how ducks roll.
So why would a duck be hanging out with a ground hog, standing by the road, watching the cars go by? And why would they both be doing the exact same thing as the bunny and the deer no less than a mile away?
I’ll tell you why: I think we’re about to be attacked. I think that there’s been a wildlife revolution brewing for years and now it’s upon us. All of nature’s critters are tired of being pushed around by us humans, and now it’s time for a little payback. I think the four animals I drove past this morning weren’t just random varmints, but rather the front line in a new war; a war the likes of which we’ve never seen.
I’m kinda freaked out. I didn’t even talk to my guinea pig when I got back to my house. We’ve started putting up this little tent thing in the corner of his cage so he can have some privacy, and I’m scared that he might be hiding a Glock or a switchblade or something in there. You know how guinea pigs do.
No, I came right home and started writing this blizzog post to warn you, the fair and gentle blizzog reader, of the impending animal revolution. Prepare to meet your new beast overlords!
NBC did a “Saturday Night Live in the 90’s” show a month or so ago, and we’re just now getting around to watching it. We’ve only watched the first half, and so far I’m left with two impressions, both surprising. One, even though most of what I remember from the 90s is everyone saying SNL wasn’t as good as it used to be, that’s totally not true. Two - and this is the real surprise to me - I miss the 90s.
We’ll deal with the first impression, uh, first. SNL was a freaking powerhouse through parts - though not all - of the 90s. Think about these names: Rock, Sandler, Farley, Spade, Hartman, Ferrell, Meyers, Carvey. Unreal. Most of these folks went on to unbelievable box office success. Many of them where all on the same cast at the same time. This special opened up with some guy saying that SNL in the early 90s was kinda like the Yankees of the late 90s. You really can’t argue with that. In many seasons, it was just a murderers’ row of comics. I’m not even including people like Norm MacDonald, Colin Quinn, and Rob Schneider, and Molly Shannon. Say what you will, but these people all really added something to the show and gave it some of its most memorable characters.
As surprised as I was to remember how good those SNL casts were, I was even more surprised to realize how seeing this special made me nostalgic - for the first time - for the 90s. SNL is such a reflection of the culture, and seeing all the skits about cultural events and people in addition to plain silly skits, not to mention the musical acts - from the first Gulf War to the Dave Matthews Band to the Church Lady to O.J. to Blues Traveler to Wayne’s World to Bill Clinton to Opera Man - made me stop and think about that whole era and how lucky I was to be the age I was (15-25) during that decade.
The 90s in many ways were a time of blissful ignorance for both me and the country at large. After the short-lived first Gulf War at the start of the decade, the U.S. enjoyed an unprecedented period of peace and prosperity. We weren’t worried about terrorists or taking off our shoes to get on airplanes or bird flu or any of the crazy shit that everyone obsesses about now. It was all grunge music and Michael Jordan, and the Internet and eventually dot-com madness.
I’m not going to try to argue that the 90s were some kind of cultural high point or the best times of our lives or whatever. All I’ll say is that they sure were fun for me, and whether it’s a Chris Farley “Van Down by The River” SNL skit or a cheezy Gin Blossoms song playing on the radio, I’ll be thankful for the memories of what truly were simpler times.
