K-I-am

In honor of Dr. Seuss’s birthday and the Dook game this weekend, the blizzog childishly presents “K I Am”.

K I am

I am K

K I am

That K-I-am!
That K-I-am!
I cannot stand that K-I-am!

Do you like
my Dook program?
I do not like it, K-I-am.
I cannot stand
your Dook program.

Would you like it
with a Hurley?

I would not like it
with a Hurley.
Nor with a Laettner.
He was quite girly.

I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.

Do you like it
at Cameron Indoor?
Do you like the way
our D slaps the floor?

I do not like it
at Cameron Indoor.
I do not like the way
your D slaps the floor.
I would not like it
with a Hurley.
Nor with a Laettner.
He was quite girly.
I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.

But don’t you like
our “crazy” fans
And the scripted cheers
they read in the stands?

Not your fans.
Not their scripted cheers in the stands.
Not at Cameron Indoor.
Not how your D slaps the floor.
I would not like it
with a Hurley.
Nor with a Laettner.
He was quite girly.

I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.

Would you like us in the Final Four?
So for the league we’d win one more?

I would not, could not, in the Final Four.

You would cheer for us.  You would see.
Don’t you root for the ACC?

I always root for the ACC.
Except when I’m rooting for ABD.
I do not like
your “crazy” fans.
Nor their scripted cheers
They read in the stands.
I do not like it
at Cameron Indoor.
I do not like the way
your D slaps the floor.
I would not like it
with a Hurley.
Nor with a Laettner.
He was quite girly.
I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.

Satan! Satan! Satan! Satan!
Could you, would you against the Devil?

Not against Satan.
Not in the Final Four.
K-I-am, this is becoming a bore.
I would not, could not, dig your fans
And their scripted cheers they read in the stands.
I will not like them in Cameron Indoor.
I will never like how your D slaps the floor.
I did not like them with a Hurley.
Nor with Laettner.  He was quite girly.
I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.

Say!  How about fifty bucks?
Would you, could you, for fifty bucks?

I would not, could not.

Why? 

Dook sucks.

Would you, could you, with a goat?

Ask the Crazies.
They might, but I won’t.

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I would not, could not, on a boat.
And I’m trying to forget about that goat.
Not against Satan.  Not for fifty bucks.
Not in the Final Four.  I told you, Dook sucks.
I do not like
your “crazy” fans
Nor the scripted cheers
They read in the stands.
I do not like it
at Cameron Indoor.
I do not like the way
your D slaps the floor.
I would not like it
with a Hurley.
Nor with a Laettner.
He was quite girly.
I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.

You do not like them.  So you say.
Fine by me.  You can have your Sean May
And Raymond Felton driving the lane
For an oop to Rashad over Sheldon’s big “brain“.
And Jackie Manuel to lock JJ down.
And Jawad on Melchionni…..
..hey, I’m starting to frown.

Don’t be sad, K-I-am.
You can’t win them all.
It’s our turn now
And hey, better us than Chris Paul.

Just come ready Sunday
To pay back your debts.
And we’ll call you in April
as we cut down the nets.

I do not like
your Dook program.
I cannot stand it, K-I-am.