TV Mini-Rants

Sorry the long time - no post thing. I’ve just been trying to get my life back on track after returning from vacation. You let a few things slide the week before you leave, and then are gone for a whole week, and, well….let’s just say that those Tivo’d episodes of “Lost”, “Alias”, “The OC”, and “Wife Swap” aren’t just going to watch themselves.

There are a few things going on in TV Land right now that are pissing me off, but none of them are big enough to stand on their own as a post. This brings us to our first edition of “The blizzog’s TV Mini-Rants”.

The Oscars

I had promised myself that this year I was going to sit down and do one of those witty diary posts where I mercilessly mock the celebrities from the red carpet all the way until the Best Picture award. The problem was that things were so utterly boring this year that I barely had anything to work with. Is there an event that has become more of a non-event in the past ten years than The Oscars? My one ray of comedic hope, the trainwreck triumverate of Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, and Joan’s plastic grill, has been banished to the TV Guide Channel. It’s hard to concentrate on Joan’s tortured and ill-informed questions when the Nick-At-Nite schedule is whizzing past underneath.

And what was up with the awards being given out in the crowd this year? Is this “Oprah”? I guess it wasn’t enough that they banish most of the technical awards to a completely different night. Now they have to take the remaining ones and humiliate the winners by not even letting them get on stage. Chris Rock was funny when he quipped they’d be giving them out in the parking lot later. It would’ve been more entertaining.

If they want to make The Oscars more exciting, they should borrow some tricks from reality TV. They should make the nominees do challenges like on “Survivor” to see who wins an award. I don’t really care who wins Best Costume Design, but I’d be more interested if I had to see the nominees swing across a gator pit to do it. They could also do a rose ceremony like on “The Bachelorette”, where the audience keeps voting on which actor not to give a rose to until only one person is left. “I’m sorry, Mr. Eastwood, you did not recieve a rose. Please take a moment to say your goodbyes.” They could have that token Sad Guitar Music they always play when someone gets rejected while the camera follows Clint out to his limo while he drives away. Good times.

And speaking of “The Bachelorette”….

The Bachelorette

What the hell was all that about last night? I was so pissed with how that whole thing ended. First of all, why did we have to wait over a half hour after the show ended to find out what Jen decided to do? The season itself was bad enough, but the disjointed finale was the icing on some pretty bad cake. That girl is a mess, by the way. You think ABC is regretting letting her come back now?

And speaking of ABC……

Blind Justice

Is it me or does this sound like one of the worst TV ideas in recent memory? Cop is blinded in the line of duty yet still wants chance to prove himself as a detective. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for people with disabilities being treated just like anyone else, but I just don’t see how this show is going to pull that off. How many cases is this guy going to solve by saying, “Hey, do you smell that?” or “Do you hear that noise?” before it starts getting really old. You know it’s bad when the second episode is titled “The Case of Who Farted”. I predict this show doesn’t make it past the summer, if not this spring.

The OC

Okay, I’ll say it. “The OC” sucks ass this year. They have taken almost everything that was great about the first season and abandoned it. For instance….

Ryan was the brooding “fish out of water“. We drew dramatic tension from his poor character having to deal with rich people. Now this season it seems that he’s adjusted fine to his new life and actually cracks jokes now. Boring. They need to keep bringing people back from Ryan’s Chino past to stir the sauce. Right now the sauce is bland.
Seth was the nerdy “fish out of water“ in his own high school. He was trampled on by the social elite and pined for the love of Summer, the hottest girl in school. His character was funny because he was painfully aware of his social standing and wasn’t afraid to poke fun at himself or go for broke in chasing after Summer. This season he has just become a big whiner and it’s getting tired.
Sandy Cohen was my favorite character on the show until this last story arc with his long-lost love, Rebecca. Sandy is the moral center of the show and to have him conflicted like he was just didn’t seem true to his character. The previews make it seem like the writers are going to do the whole thing over again next episode with Kirsten Cohen, Sandy’s wife and the other moral compass for the show. Lame. The writers need to stop playing with my emotions like this.
This lesbian story arc with Marissa seems rather desperate for a show in its second season. Lesbian love interests are more of a post-shark storyline, and I certainly hope that “The OC“ hasn’t jumped the shark yet. I also find it funny how all of Alex’s lesbian friends are super-hot just like her. Why couldn’t her ex have gone about two-hundy with a sweet mullet?
Where are the wacky storylines? You can’t beat things last season like the Tijuana trip, the swingers party, or Luke and Julie Cooper affair. Everything this season is so serious and dark. It’s bringing the show down.

I think the writers of the show need to take a step back and take a long hard look at what made last season so great. There is no reason that things should be bogging down this much in the second season. I hope this is just a sophomore slump and they’ll pull out of it soon. Otherwise, I might just be down to “Survivor”, “Joey”, and “Will and Grace” in the 8 o’clock hour on Thursdays.