Idol

To me the rest of this Idol season is officially under protest after the travesty that was perpetrated on my main man Rickey Smith last week. That was complete and utter crap, and this week’s performances only underscored that.

Is it not clear to everyone that Ruben, Clay, Kimberly Nostrils, and Rickey were the Final Four? The Blizzog pours out a little Captain and Coke for you tonight, Rickey. Much respect.

Now for the recap.

At first I was confused with the “Billy Joel / Smokey Robinson” theme night. It was like the school cafeteria having Mexican / Soul Food day. It just didn’t really make sense…. until you saw Billy in his intro clips. Is this guy still in rehab or what? Hey, Bill. A little less crazy and a lot more substance in your comments next time, eh, big guy?

When he launched into his whole rambling “I don’t think of myself as a rock star” bit where he started talking to himself, I was just waiting for the nurse to come in and wipe the spittle off the corner of his lip and pat him on the head. For God’s sake, Billy, have a freaking beer. Do us all a favor.

And what the hell was up with Smokey? Either this guy has been using Lionel Richie’s time machine from last week or he has an awesome plastic surgeon. I’m guessing that it’s the latter. (For those of you that don’t get the whole former/latter thing, it’s the second one.) Isn’t Smokey 793 years old? His skin was pulled back so tight that I was honestly worried his face might explode some time before the night was over.

As for the performances….

Ruben - Yawn. Simon was right. Ruben definitely sounds great, but it’s getting a little old for me. He wasn’t bringing the energy he did to his “Sweet Home Alabama” performance a few weeks ago. Even with that said, he’s still the one to beat.

Trenyce - She just doesn’t have the chops to pull this off anymore. Her dress tonight was horrible. The waist-up shots they were showing of her made her look like she was wearing a girdle. Bottom 3.

Clay - Clay about gave me a heart attack when he started off “Tell Her About It” in slow mode. Thankfully he picked it up and showed a little diversity in the process. Not my favorite performance, but it was good that he mixed it up a bit this week.

Kimberly Caldwell - After a really pretty dress last week, she’s back to “rocker chick” (aka “skank” ) mode this week. Yawner of a performance. Simon is dead on in his “Six Flags” remark. I felt like I was chilling out in Oktoberfest at Kings Island back in the OH watching “Billy Joel on Ice”. Bottom 3.

Josh - He should’ve done “Shameless”, not “Piano Man”. Don’t try to prove anything to us, J-Dawg. You’ve got a future as a country singer. Don’t sell out trying to prove to us that you’re something other than what you really are.

Carmen - The Warblin’ Mormon set a new AI low for wardrobe tonight. What the hell was that all about? It was like someone took Casual Summer Barbie, left her existing clothes on, but then put Tacky Prom Dress Barbie’s clothes on over top of that. And then put a lot of make-up on Casual Summer Barbie. The only thing worse than her outfit was the performance. If she makes it through this week I will go to my grave believing that she is sleeping with one of the producers.

Kimberly Locke - The performance of the night. She looked really great tonight and sounded even better. I like her much better when she’s not wearing those long dresses. The hat tonight was a great touch. And how can you go wrong with a great song like “New York State of Mind”? With Rickey out of the way, I hope she’ll be a lock for the final 3.

Predictions for the Bottom 3 - Same as last week
1. Skank Kimberly (as opposed to Nostrils Kimberly)
2. Carmen
3. Trenyce

Gonzo
Carmen