Bowling Mafia

So I’m in a bowling league this summer.

I’ll wait here while you take that in…

Let’s get a couple details straight here to set up the story. It’s a handicap league, which essentially means that less talented bowlers get pins added to their final score so they can compete with better bowlers. I am not a bad bowler when compared to most of the general population. I bowl about a 130 average.

My 130 makes me the worst bowler in my entire 12 team league. No kidding. The second worst average is the other guy on my team, who bowls about 145. The third worst is around 175 and most everyone else is in the 190-230 range. I did this on a lark because one of my business buddies – who is probably the best bowler in the league – asked me to be on his team. I thought it would be fun, which it has been.

Next week is the final week of the season, and we are currently in first place by 11 points, mostly because of our monster handicap. Our team gets 123 pins added ot our final score each game – 63 of those are mine.

As you might imagine, there are people in this league that take this WAY to seriously. The fact that our team essentially is the worst in the league yet about to walk away with first place – and about $400 apiece for doing so – is not making us very popular right now. The other not-so-great guy on my team actually was accused tonight of sandbagging earlier in the season and then bowling better towards the end of the league. Doesn’t it stand to reason that if you bowl once a week for 13 week that you’ll probably get better?

So if you don’t hear from me after next Thursday night, it’s quite possible that I’ve been Munson’ed. I just want this on record in case anything happens to me. You heard it here first.