Keyshawn
Apparenlty Keyshawn Johnson hasn’t just been playing Madden since his dismissal from the Tampa Bay Bucs a few months ago. John Mahannah has issued a restraining order against Keyshawn because KJ has allegedly been making threats on his life, sometimes up to twenty times a day.
A word of advice for John. If you want to keep Keyshawn away from your house, I would suggest painting your front lawn like an end zone and hiring some defensive backs to play Cover-2 in your driveway. His performance of late suggests that employing these tactics will ensure that there is no way he will make it onto your property. 
It would have been nice for him to finish out the season, though.
We were smart, reeeel smart not to draft that loser in the fantasy league again. After 2 very unproductive seasons with this crybaby, we got the message this year.
If he’s tough enough to make death threats, how could he let himself get mugged? What was he gonna do anyway…trash talk the guy into a coma?
Just give me the damn restraining order!