Delayed Gratification
As part of the continuing overreaction to Janet’s right boob, CBS has elected to employ a 10-second delay for their broadcast of the Final Four in order to protect us, the simple masses, from untold indecency and profanity. The network indicated it would like to institute the policy for games in the earlier rounds, but backed away when Dook’s Coach K asked, “Then how the f#*$ is anybody supposed to see our f#*$ing games? F#*$!!!” 
We applaud this action by CBS. The content of a Dook basketball game is not at all appropriate for the prime time viewing hour.
We totally agree.
Stop f$@!ing making fun of me you f%#^ing f#^&ers!!!
I find this topic and the ensuing conversation offensive and beneath me as a God-fearing fascist…I mean human-being.
Hey! Stop stealing my lines, hippie.
I saw sparks fly, from the corner of my eye
And when I turned, it was love at first sight
I said please excuse me, I didn’t catch your name
Oh it’d be a shame not to see you again
And just when I thought she was comin’ to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said
I’m only seventeen, but I’ll show you love like you’ve never seen
She’s only seventeen, daddy says she’s too young, but she’s old enough for me
Come to my place, we can talk it over, oh everything going down in your head
She said take it easy, I need some time, time to work it out, to make you mine
And just when I thought she was comin’ to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said
I’m only seventeen, you ain’t seen love, ain’t seen nothing like me
She’s only seventeen, seventeen
(Solo)
Such a bad girl, loves to work me overtime
Feels good (ha), dancin’ close to the borderline
She’s a magic mountain, she’s a leather glove
Oh she’s my soul, it must be love
She’s only seventeen, still she gives me love, like I’ve never seen
She’s only seventeen, daddy says she’s too young, but she’s old enough for me
She’s everything I need, daddy says she’s too young
But she’s old enough, old enough for me
I f&*#ing drop just as many f&*#ing f-bombs as f&*#ing rat face but do I get any attention. Oh I f&*#ing forgot, I’m in f&*#ing Alaska.