NBA Draft Quick Hits

Between nachos, some NewCastle, some cheese fries, and a girly drink I ordered called a Cherry Sour Bomb, Jigga and I took in the NBA Draft last night at a bar in Winston.  While I didn’t have time – nor the skillz of my man Bill Simmons – to write a full-blown draft diary, I did have time to collect a few thoughts on the night’s proceedings.

1. I would really love to see the TNT crew get the draft from now on.  I can’t tell you how much more entertaining things would’ve been last night with Charles Barkley as part of the show.  This must happen.
2. I started the evening by telling Jigga how much I liked Stephen A. Smith, then realized as the evening progressed how much I can’t stand Stephen A. Smith.  His delivery irritates me.  Why do you need to sound like Jesse Jackson to explain why Andre Iguodala was a better pick for Philadelphia than The Other White Guy Named Luke from Oregon?  Shut up!
3. I basically like Jay Bilas during the college season, but he had no business there last night.  He was such a jackass.  When Kris Humphries – former Dook signee who ended up going to Minnesota when it was clear K was not down with his plan to go pro this year - was drafted #14, Bilas made sure to let everyone know how much he needed to get away from his father and stop being such a selfish player.  I’m sure those digs had nothing to do with him stiffing the Blue Devils.  Ass.
4. Bilas was also no kinder when the travesty of the evening finally ended, and Jameer Nelson was finally drafted at #20.  As Nelson walked to the stage after being preceeded by a host of high school kids that have no business being ahead of him in the draft, Bilas started explaining to everyone how Okafor was the true National Player of The Year and he didn’t think Nelson deserved it.  Very classy, Jay.  Here is a very solid guy who has been somewhat embarassed this evening, and you basically throw daggers at him during one of the best moments of this life.   Ass.
5. Tom Tolbert reminds me of one of those guys I’d see at parties in college who were clearly once big athletes at whatever high school they went to…… and that was about it.  The chicks would sort of gravitate to him because he was kind of a big dude, but a close listen revealed that he never really had anything funny or interesting to say.  Tom Tolbert is that guy. 
6. The quote of the evening goes to prep star Josh Smith.  According to Jigga, this guy is basically a phenomenal athlete but that’s all.  He can’t really handle or shoot very well, but he’s super-fast and can jump out of the gym.  When Stuart Scott alluded to these criticisms and asked how he was going to avoid becoming a bust, Smith replied, “You know, I’ve been working with John Lucas in Atlanta.  I’ve gotta work on my dribbles, and get them right.“  Classic.  My dribbles have always been my shortcoming too, Josh. I feel your pain.  I especially need to get my right-handed dribbles right.  Good times.
7. I’m convinced that in a cost-saving move, ESPN parent company Disney has replaced NBA analyst David Aldridge with one of those Audio-Animatronics like they use in the Hall of Presidents or It’s A Small World at Disney World.  Every time they showed him last night it was in a very tight shot from the torso up and his skin was a little too perfect.  You couldn’t really see much of the room behind him either.  I’m pretty sure they just had the Aldrige droid’s top half sitting on a table with little wires coming out of his back that were hard-wired into the Internet.
8. Congratulations, Chris Duhon.  Your loyalty to Coach K has caused you to go from a sure-thing first-rounder three years ago to an unguarnteed shot at being one of 17 guards on the Chicago Bulls and most likely driving Jay Williams to rehab each morning.  I wouldn’t tell your mom to quit her “job“ in Durham just yet if I were you.  She does still get to keep it now that you’re not at Dook anymore, right?
9. Just because a guy drinks a Cherry Sour Bomb every now and then, that doesn’t make him a wuss, right?  Right?
10. Finally, I’m happy that the stupidly named Charlotte Bobcats picked up the wonderful Emeka Okafor.  He’s a solid character guy and I think he will blossom into a great NBA player.  This is just what this franchise needs to get off on the right foot.