Random House
We haven’t had a Random House post in some time so I thought it was about time….
So the yard is looking pretty sweet after a long hard day of work and about 17 trips to Home Depot because we grossly underestimated the number of pine straw bales it would take to cover 1800 square feet of ground. If you were ever wondering how many bales of pine straw you can cram into the back of a Lexus RX300, the answer is 12. I bet KenJen knew that.
We saw “Anchorman” yesterday as a reward for our labor on Saturday. We should’ve seen “The Bournce Supremacy” instead.
Does the Gigli-esque performance of Catwoman at the box office mean that we’ve finally seen the end of the Sharon Stone era? I don’t think NASCAR drivers get as much mileage out of their tires as Stone has gotten out of her last good performance in “Basic Instinct” 14 years ago. For someone who is so irrelevant these days she sure manages to show up everywhere, doesn’t she?
I’m working on a new rule. It goes something like this: “If your license plate in any way hints at the brand of car it is on, you are probably an asshole. (Bonus asshole points if the plate also includes a possessive pronoun or your name, as in “MY BMW” or “ANN’S BENZ”)” The only exception to this rule: Chapel Hill-area favorite “BLACKURA” that some dude had on his black Acura. That’s good times right there.
Don’t you hate it when you’re out and about in London and have to take a dump, but you’re not sure where the nearest, cleanest public restroom is? Well, your pain and suffering is over, my friend.
Future Reality TV: “The Simple Life XXII”, where Paris’ ho daughter and Nichole Richie’s ho daughter go to live with old and busted Britney, her skeevy fifth husband and their six kids in a trailer in Louisiana. I’d watch it.
Oh well…. I’m flaming out. I need to bail here before it gets any worse. More later, hopefully better.
This is the worst comment ever. (But the fact that one can post comments to the Blizzog says a lot.)
Norm McDonald? What? Dennis Miller, case closed.
Huh huh….He said Poo.
Excuse me, but Joey was the best new kid…I loved his falsetto voice. And Dennis Miller was the best weekend update anchor. Are you going through a mid-life crisis or something with these ramblings? You sound like an old geezer remembering the “good ole days”
Dennis Miller was a much better Weekend Update anchor than NFL sportscaster that’s for sure.
Dude, I loved you in Poison. “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” is the one of the Top 5 rock ballads of all time. It’s an honor to have you on the blizzog. BTW, are you any relation to TV sportscaster Al Michaels?
Dennis Miller was definitely the best.
“Talk Dirty To Me” was definitely our best song.
Har. I loved ye song “Bad to be Good”.
Anyone seen my career lately?
I’m definitely not saying that Dennis Miller sucks or anything like that. You could make the argument that Dennis Miller defined the Weekend Update anchor position.
For my money though, I just prefer Norm over Miller. My judgement is admittedly clouded by the fact that I’m a huge Norm McDonald guy. Just one blizzog’s opinion.
There’s no mid-life crisis or agenda here, by the way. I was wicked tired last night so I just started typing random assertions into the blizzog posting thinger.
I must admit I’m a little disappointed that no one took the bait on my Golden Girls smack or that no one bothered to stick up for the alligator. I guess I just must be right.
And, Miss Erin Fabulous, I think if we take a holistic view of each New Kid’s career, from start to finish, it is painfully obvious that Donnie has been the most successful. I don’t see Joey starring in his own NBC series these days now do I?
So you’re the one! Want to hang out? As long as Adam Sandler doesn’t make another crappy movie to put me in, I’ll be free for the forseeable future.
So you’re the one! Want to hang out? As long as Adam Sandler doesn’t make another crappy movie to put me in, I’ll be free for the forseeable future.
Jeez Norm, calm down. We got it.
Now on to Jamie. I find the fact that you know the names of two of the New Kids the most troubling thing you posted.
As for your other thoughts, Estelle Getty was by far the best GG. Betty White could have died halfway through the pilot and no one would have noticed. But I am with you on the shark. Unless the gator could trick him into coming up on land or had some brass knuckles or something.
And I still maintain Dennis Miller was the best host, followed closely by Jimmy Fallon/Tina Fey, who are growing on me. I agree that Colin Quinn sucks, but Norm was right there with him.
didn’t I have a TV show?
Yes, Norm, you did have a TV show and it ruled. ABC didn’t have your vision so they axed it. You will also have a new TV show on Fox this fall. Maybe you could give Dennis Miller a job cutting your grass.
I had a TV show on HBO that was really good. Except for the interviews. And the last bit where I ranted. And the audience phone calls. Everything but that stuff was really good.
aren’t all Carolina students journalism majors?
It’s unfortunate that Mr Limbaugh played the racial card because I think he’s right about McNabb being overrated. It has nothing to do with his color, though.
Just because he’s overrated doesn’t mean he’s not good. He’s just not as good as the hype. Plenty of players fit that category but it usually falls on QBs because they are usually the most prominent player on a team. There always seems to be a pattern with these guys. They come out of college to huge hype and they play pretty good for a few years. The media props them up and then when they never perform up to expectations the media then chops em down. After a couple of years without attention somebody notices that they’ve been a pretty darn good player for years and then they’re hyped again. Bledsoe’s a good example of that…
To continue…
I know it’s just human nature to be dazzled by the new shiny object, in this case exciting college player, but why not wait a few years and then evaluate. It’s not Donovan’s fault that he’s a good QB that everybody expected to be one of the greatest of all times. He’s just trying to win games. It’s too bad, really.
Ok, I’m done.
how was The Bournce Supremacy? I heard it was awesome.
Great question, Matt. "The Bournce Supremacy" is a documentary about a guy named Jason Bournce, a complete loser who trolls blogs looking for spelling mistakes and pointing them out to the author via smart remarks. In the end, Jason realizes what an empty, meaningless exercise it is to harvest the lowest of low-hanging blog-heckling fruit and kills himself.
How do ya like them apples?
Does your license plate say "MATT’S Z3" by any chance?
Did you say Bournce? Oh. I thought you were talking about the <i>Beyonce</i> Supremacy.
and no, my plate doesn’t say "MATT’S Z3". They wouldn’t let me have the apostrophe.
lay off my boy, haah? Or I’ll get wicked crazy on your ass.
shut up, you no talent hack. I hate you.
Hmmm…..Gee, I’ve NEVER seen the blizzog sarcastically correct a spelling mistake on another blog before.
Guys!!! Calm down. You two are too good of friends to fight like this.
shut up, kettle, you no talent hack. I hate you.
here we go again…..
shut up, Whitney, you no talent hack. I hate you.
shut up, Bobby, you no talent hack. We hate you.
Hey, are there any of those low-hanging-fruit snacks left?
Did someone mention low-hanging-fruit?