Cross-Selling Makes Me Cross

I went on my annual Hell Day of Shopping for Christmas (HDS4C) this past weekend.  I usually take a day off work and do it but I’m not going to be able to do that this year.  I start early and hit all the places that I need to hit.  Out of the offline Christmas shopping I do in a given year, I typically get 95% of it done on HDS4C.  This year was no exception.

Part of the tradition of HDS4C is being subjected to the annual annoyances of crowds, traffic, Blocks The Aisle While Just Standing There Like a Dumbass Guy, Argues About The Price With The Only Cashier While You Wait In Line Behind Her Girl, Russian Long-Line Roulette, and horrible renditions of Christmas classics performed by every B-List singer/band in the history of modern music.  Working very hard to be added to this list of HDS4C aggravation is a relative newcomer, Cross-Selling Cashier.

This is the person who takes your money before you leave the store, but asks you to buy about fifty other things before doing so.  Cross-Selling Cashier comes at you with gems like….

“Will this be on your <InsertStoreNameHere> charge card today?  No?  You know you can save 15% today if you open one up?”
”You know if you buy one more of these then it’s half-off, right?”
”Did you get signed up for our drawing?  You could win a new <InsertPieceOfCrapYourDon’tWantHere>.”
”Oh, this is so cute.  Did you want to get some accessories to go with this?”

Cross-Selling Cashier irritates me to no end.  I realize that this has been going on for years and that it can be an effective selling tool, but it seems to be out of control this year.  Out of the ten or more stores I made a purchase from this weekend, I’d say I got hit up by Cross-Selling Cashier nine times.  That’s way too much.  If I’m saying “No thanks.“ more than I’m saying “Thanks“ then something isn’t right.

Look, CSC, I’m already in your store and I’ve already agreed to purchase something.  Don’t push your luck.  If I really wanted to buy something else in the store, I would’ve done so.  If you need just one more person to meet your cross-sell quota for the day, then you need to find a new sucker.  You are barking up the wrong tree.  So STEP OFF!!!!

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go pick up that Twisted Sister “A Very Twisted Christmas” CD.  Some dude who looks like Dee Snider recommended it to me when I was buying some gear at The Gap.