There Goes My New Year’s

A 21-year-old Aussie is lucky to be alive after taking beer shotgunning to a whole new level on his birthday.  It turns out that using a helmet fitted with a jug of beer from which a hose was attached to a pump that was powered by a power drill and using said contraption to force beer into your mouth at a high rate of speed can be hazardous to your health.  Who knew?

The man, who shockingly did not wish to be identified, said that about six other party-goers had used the “jug helmet” before him without incident.  However, when it was his turn, the force of the beer ruptured his stomach, sending beer and food into his abdomen.  As anyone who watches “ER” knows, this is bad.  The guy, now known to his friends as “Lightweight”, was touch-and-go in the hospital for a week but is expected to make a full recovery.

Australian health experts took the opportunity to warn people not to build gadgets that allowed the rapid consumption of large amounts of alcohol.  Those Guiness Beer guys took the message to heart.

“Don’t build jug helmets with a hose attached to a pump powered by a power drill that allows the rapid consumption of large amounts of alcohol.  Brilliant!!!”