Star Wars Premiere: 10 Things You Shouldn’t Do Today

In case you haven’t heard, Star Wars III: Revenge of The Sith premiered at midnight today.  And since every maniacal, Yoda-quoting, geek FanBoy in the country will be flooding out of America’s basements and into a theater near you for the next 24 hours, the blizzog presents this helpful list of 10 things not to do today so you can avoid some disappointment.

1. Print that 147-page document that you know will jam the printer.  You shouldn’t be printing it anyway.  Jerk.
2. Order a pizza.  Let’s just say the delivery staff will be a bit light.
3. Go to Radio Shack, Best Buy, Circuit City, EB Games, or anywhere electronic goods are sold.
4. Expect answers to your “Was There Really Only One True Ring?“ thread on the LOTR message boards.
5. Find someone to tell you what LOTR stands for if you don’t know.
6. Ask to have the margins on your TPS reports increased from 1 inch to 1.25 inch.  You don’t need it anyway.  Why don’t you do some real work today for a change?
7. Host a bitchin’ Magic: The Gathering party.
8. Rent a Boba Fett costume. 
9. Open that attachment in your email with the subject “Hello!  This prize I sent you!!!!  spzschs 13sckaschieqq“  You know better than that anyway.  Scratch that.  You don’t.
10. Go to the movies.  Duh.

This isn’t like the opening round of the NCAA tournament where the people that take off work aren’t going to be missed.  (Save your emails, Sales Guy. You know I’m right.)  This is a big deal.  By some estimates, the U.S. economy will take a $600 million hit over the next two days due to absenteeism.

My advice to you: if you’re thinking about doing something today that might require tech support, don’t.  You and I both know that you’re just going to screw it up.  And there will be no one there to help you.

In fact, we should treat this as an impromptu “Geek Appreciation Day”.  In the words of 80s rockers Cinderella, you “Don’t Know What You’ve Got, ‘Til It’s Gone”.  Today you’ll see just what it would be like if those geeks in IT you’re always grumbling about didn’t work with you anymore. 

So when they come back in on Monday to re-open your network account that you locked because you couldn’t remember your password (hint: it was probably ‘password’, dumbass), give those geeks a hug and tell them you appreciate them.  Well, okay… maybe just tell them you appreciate them.

Sorry for the spelling errors in this post.  It’s hard to type with this Boba Fett costume on.