Keep Your Checks in Check

Dear Lady In Front of Me at the Grocery Store the Other Day,

I was able to overlook the 33 pieces of produce you purchased that had to be entered by hand into the register by the obviously new cashier.  I was also able to overlook your precious little girl who kept ramming her mini-shopping cart into my cart while your glassy eyes watched the produce amble down the conveyor belt.  This is a stretch for me, but I was even able to tolerate your petty argument with the cashier over your 15-cent coupon.  After all, I’d had my Red Bull that morning, so we were good.

Despite my tolerance for your other misdeeds in the grocery line, ma’am, I must draw the line at your use of your checkbook to complete the transaction. 

I can’t stand it when people pay for things with checks in a retail store.  It’s 2005, people.  There have been many wonderful advances in banking technology since the 1800s.  You should look into something like a credit card or debit card.  They are quite handy, and speed things up not only for you, but all of the people in line behind you.

Nothing kills the flow of a line like someone whipping out the checkbook.  The cashier has to check the address and write things on the check if they’re missing.  The person writing the check has to, well, write the check, which can take forever for you perfect handwriting types out there.  Don’t get me started on the people who then proceed to update their register when they’re done.  Ugh. 

How old school is this?  You might as well throw a chicken, two goats, and some turnips up on the counter so you can start bartering with the cashier for your wares.

If you want to use your checks to pay the cable bill or your mortgage or whatever, that’s fine by me.  Just don’t make me wait in line while Pa draws the horse and buggy up to the store as you scratch out a check for your purchase. 

Please, just leave the checkbook at home.

Love,
Jamie