Dancing With The Stars - Season 2 Ep. 2

Some brief thoughts on tonight’s performances…

Lisa Rinna - Pole dancing class?!!!  Awesome.  This should be the whole show!  Pole Dancing With The Stars.  I like how Louis now knows about the “feelings of all women” after going to the stripper pole class.  Maybe I should go to one.  Fresh on the heels of his “we have good bondage“ quote from last week, Louis brings us another classic.  The music to this one was kinda weird, but the dancing was pretty good.  I can’t get over Lisa’s lips.  They creep me out.

Drew Lachey - Bonus points for effectie use of “Neutron Dance”.  Go little sausage, go!!!  A pretty good two-step.  This is much better than watching boy bander Joey McIntyre ride poor Ashly DelGrosso around the dance floor like a rented mule last season.  Nice job, Drew.

Tia Carrere - I can’t believe she was in the bottom two last week.  They weren’t that bad.  I think America just doesn’t like fatties.  :)  Hmm.  This one wasn’t so good for me.  It was more like she just walked around and scowled at him the whole time.  Even the scores are confused.  Asian Paula retracted one of her points.

George Harrison - I really like GH.  Great personality.  I’m not sure if this is quite quick enough to be a quick step, but I really like the performance.  So did the judges.  Edyta is AG’s favorite of the pro dancers, and I’d have to agree.  She’s pretty good.  BWAAHAHAHAHAHAA.  GH saying he’s doing this for his peeps in the hood is the line of the night.  Bravo!!!!

Tatum O’Neal - AG wonders if Tatum is going to bust out any “acting” skills on us tonight.  It looks like she might.  Werd up to “Careless Whisper”.  We’re not sure what to think about this dance, since AG and I don’t understand it.  We’re not sure what make good rumba.  It seems kinda like Roomba, where you just bumble about the room slowly.  Either way, Tatum apparently didn’t do a good job.  I could do without her in this competition anyway.

Jerry Rice - Whoa!!!  I’m not down with whatever the hell Jerry’s partner is wearing.  Somewhere P Diddy is looking for his drapes.  This performance seems pretty good.  Jerry hasn’t changed his posture or facial expression the entire performace.  It’s like what I look like when I’m trying to carry three beers across a crowded bar.  Just stay straight, look ahead, and don’t spill anything.  Decent score.  Nice job, Jerry.

Stacy Keibler - That was quite the preview.  I think I need a moment alone.  Stacy is promising to “bring the sausage” tonight.  How can you not love that?  I still don’t get the rumba, but according to Tony it’s supposed to be like watching two people getting ready to do it.  I’m not really getting that here, but then I don’t sleep with many Amazonian wrestler chicks these days either.  Apparently the judges like it a lot.  A whole lot.  Two 10s!!!

Master P - Master P is just an ass.  I can’t believe he threw away poor Ashly’s present like that .  This performance is just bad news.  If I’m Kenny Mayne, I’m pissed.  I guess Kenny should have had some “lucky P Miller shoes”.  AG thinks everyone is being a little mean to Master P.  I think he brings it on himself.

Giselle Fernandez - Okay, Giselle, we get it.  You’re Latina… sort of.  And nothing says “fiery Latina” like dancing to “Take My Breath Away”, by Berlin.  But despite me making fun, that was really good tonight.  This was actually one of my favorites of the night.  Nice job, Giselle.

America votes out:  Tatum, though it should be Master P