Dancing With The Stars – Season 2, Ep. 3

Jerry Rice – You just knew Jerry would be dancing the jive, what with the feet and all.  Upon further review, Jerry’s partner is kinda pretty, even with her jug ears (said the guy with jug ears).  This performance was pretty much like their others: good, but not great.  Len is killing them and I tend to agree.  This was kinda boring for me.  Jerry is still rocking the “Jamie carrying 3 Beers Across the Bar” face.  Even Bruno has dropped has man crush on Jerry tonight.  Could be a tough road ahead.  AG thinks it’s funny how Jerry keeps saying he’s going for “the juggler”. 

Giselle Fernandez – After last week’s performance I’m interested to see how this is going to go.  Nothing to exciting about the intro, except that Giselle’s partner needs to not wear open V-neck shirts if he’s going to keep that Teen Wolf shit he’s got going on.  I was not loving most of their performance until the cool jump she did at the end.  AG thinks they certainly went for the juggler with that finish.  The judges hated it.  They sure are cranky this week.

Drew Lachey – +1 for the sausage cap tonight.  I kinda laughed when he said that last week when they got second he felt like he was punched in the stomach.  Must not have hurt very much with all that padding.    Meanwhile, this performance tonight is really good.  Great steps, great energy, and topped off with a pretty kinky mid-air reverse cowgirl to boot.  I’m a fan.  Rock on, sausage.  What’s up with the judges not wanting them to do lifts?  Have they never seen “Dirty Dancing”?

George Hamilton – Before I comment on George, I need to give a shout out to blizzog reader Maureen who, after reading last week’s review, commented “George Hamilton, not George Harrison, who is now playing with John in the big Strawberry Fields in the sky.”  Heh.  Oops.  In this week’s performance we see the continuation of a theme : big on charisma, light on actual dancing.  I still think that will be enough to carry GH through this week.

Lisa Rinna – Seriously, did they just glue two caterpillars under her nose and paint them pink?  The lips keep creeping me out.  Well, now she’s crying and I feel kinda bad about making fun of her.  Almost.  At least Louis is there to comfort her.  Must be that good bondage they have.  This is a pretty flat performance.  I’m not digging it.  AG wants to know where Lisa’s mom hair-do came from.  Of course, the judges love it, proving once again that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Stacy Keibler – AG doesn’t like my new girlfriend.  She wants her to be gone.    I’m not really sure what good tango is (obviously), but this performance is kinda boring to me.  AG thought it was scary.  Tom B seemed to agree.  At least the judges somewhat agreed with me here that it was boring.  Oh well, at least we get to hear how Stacy has 42 inch legs again.  I can’t hear about this enough.

Master P – I want to know where I can get a Krunk Cookie Monster shirt like he has tonight in the preview.  That’s good times.  +1 for Ashley’s “A” bling hat.  Wow.  I have to say that though this certainly wasn’t the most graceful dance of the night, it was easily the most fun.  The judges don’t agree.  Especially Len.  Forget W, Kanye, Judge Len doesn’t like black people.    Good for Master P.  He totally won me over tonight.

Tia Carrere – Man, you can just see the pounds melting off Tia each week.  Good times.  This tango seems much better to me than the others we’ve seen tonight.  Lots of passion and character.  I liked it.  Must be that “True Lies” experience paying off.  The judges seem to like it too.

America Votes Out: Jerry, though like last week it should probably be Master P