Dancing With The Stars

Just some brief comments tonight, for reasons that will be explained later…

Stacy Keibler (Quick-Step) – How is it that Stacy is unable to be mean on command?  Isn’t she in the WWE?  This performance is good, but not super exciting.  AG told me that she read Stacy has had 9 years of dance training.  How is that fair for her to be on this show?  Of course, this could just be a mis-information campaign from AG.

Jerry Rice (Tango) – I’m surprised that Jerry made it back this week.  I figured after beating out George last week he’d have been kidnapped and stuffed in a case hidden behind the Hollywood sign.  You don’t mess with the Hollywood mob.  I’m not sure what to make of Jerry’s outfit.  Is this Barbershop?  This is super boring.  Jerry has returned to “carry the beer” mode.  I guess that’s appropriate since skanky Raider fan chick was there wearing her number 80 cocktail dress.  Nice.  The judges hate this.  Me too.  I do like how Jerry just promised that the rhumba will be “for the ladies”.  That rules.

Lisa Rinna (Fox Trot) – This week’s “Lisa needs something different to help her prepare” saga takes us to her hometown in Oregon.  On the way up, Louis asks if they are going to be practicing in a barn.  It’s Oregon, Louis, not Ohio.  I wonder if Louis got to see pictures of her old lips at her parents’ house.  I’m not sure what to make of Lisa’s outfit.  It’s like “I Dream of Jeannie” meets Elvis.  Not good times.  I liked this performance okay, but it didn’t see like there was much to it.  AG agrees.  The judges seem to be digging it.  AG suspects that Lisa might be on the way out tonight.  It’s possible. 

Drew Lachey (Fox Trot) – How odd that Drew would go to ABC parent Disney for some blatant product placement…. err, “practice”.  This is a fun performance.  I think Drew and Cheryl really mesh well together personally, and it comes through on the dance floor.  Very nice job.  This is probably one of my favorite performances of the season.  I’m not really down with the judges scoring this lower than Stacy’s performance.  I thought this was much better.

Stacy Keibler (Cha Cha Cha) – This is kinda lame.  I’m especially not digging the house singers trying to bring the Kelly Clarkson song.  I’m bored.  Of course, Stacy’s lover Bruno is eating it up.  Ehhh.  28 from the judges?!  I think the fix is in.

Jerry Rice (Rumba) – I’m somewhat skeeved out by this performance.  Anna is really working the slow and sexy thing – which I dig – but Jerry just can’t match her.  In fact, he’s not really doing much of anything.  I feel like I’m at a strip club with Jerry.  “Anna to the main stage!!!  Anna…”  I could’ve done without Jerry standing up to Len. 

Lisa Rinna (?) – You can really tell that everyone is having a hard time with the second dance tonight.  None of the second dances have been as good as the first, though Lisa’s has been the best so far.  Still, I felt like I was watching a shag contest at the beach.  The judges seem to like it.  27!  Is there an upset in the works?

Drew Lachey (Rumba) – Are they dancing to “Total Eclipse of the Heart”?    BWAHAHAHAHAHHAA.  Now I can’t think of anything but the Dan Band at the wedding reception scene from “Old School”.  This was a really good performance.  I’m glad to see the judges are digging it…. well, at least everyone except that prude Len.    29!  A great score for a great team.  Maybe AG’s jedi mind tricks are working on me, but I’d really like to see the little sausage take home the gold…or trophy or whatever it is.

America Votes Out: Jerry.  Sorry, dude.