Bob Costas’ Favorite Crapper

As I mentioned yesterday, Ashley and I had a brush with fame over the weekend in Atlanta.  We’re sitting at a Starbucks in the middle of the Lenox Square Mall, when suddenly AG looks up and says, “Well, there’s Bob Costas.” 

Sure enough, there he was strolling through the mall with who I’m pretty sure was Dick Ebersol, president of NBC Sports.  I’d never realized how short Costas was until I saw him in person.  He’s maybe 5′5”, tops.  Anyway, they opened a museum in Atlanta last weekend to commemorate the 1996 Olympics, and I think that’s why Costas was in town.  So he and Dick Ebersol walk right past us, and I don’t think anything more about it.

Fast forward twenty minutes and I’m in Banana Republic checking out the men’s clothes.  I come around the corner and who do I almost run into?  Why, Bob Costas, of course.  We kinda glance at each other, but neither speaks.  He goes about his business looking at stuff - he was trying on jackets - and I hung around for a minute trying to decide if I was going to speak to him or not. 

He was very nice to the Banana Republic guys that were helping him, and I was somewhat surprised to hear that he sounds in real life just like he does on TV.  With a lot of these TV guys, I think the voice is something they kinda turn on and off, but Costas’ voice seemed to be the genuine article.  He asked the BR guy to hold his purchases at the counter in the same voice he uses to interview big deal sports stars.  This made what happened next all the more funny.

Despite it never stopping me on the blizzog, the fact that I had nothing of value to say to Bob Costas other than “I’m a fan of your work.” convinced me to move along.  I started heading off to find Ashley.  As I’m walking away, Dick Ebersol comes up to Costas, Banana Republic bag in hand, and the following exchange occurs…

Dick (holding up his bag): “I think I’m all set here.  Bob, where’s that marvelous men’s room you were telling me about?”

Costas (in his sports guy voice): “Oh, yeah.  That place is great.  It’s up the escalators, in the back past the food court.”

Dick: “Thanks.  I’ll see you in a little bit.”

I could barely keep myself from laughing.  In the span of 25 minutes I had learned that: a.) Bob Costas is pretty short, b.) Bob Costas is in the market for a new jacket, and mostly importantly c.) Bob Costas has a favorite restroom at the Lenox Square Mall in Atlanta.  Who knew?

I was trying to imagine the earlier conversation where Bob told Dick about his prized commode…

Bob: “Dick, you want to go shopping today before the museum thing?“

Dick: “Sure, that sounds great.“

Bob: “Fantastic.  We’ll go to Lenox Square Mall.  They have some nice shops there, not to mention one of the nicest shitters I’ve ever had the pleasure of dumping in.  It’s fabulous.  The stuff of dreams.”

Dick: “Splendid.  It’s a date then.  I’ll be sure to have some bran for breakfast before we go.”

Now don’t get me wrong.  I have a favorite toilet at work.  I even have a favorite at home.  But I can’t say that I have a favorite toilet that’s in a mall somewhere.  In fact, if I were to show you my personal toilet ranking index, I’d bet that the bottom of the list would be crowded with mall and gas station crappers.

My big regret from the weekend is that I never sought out Bob Costas’s #1 Recommended Toilet, so I can’t tell you what it was like.  Oh well, at least now I have something to look forward to next time we go back.